


everyone vs marvin and whizzer, a six part mini opera.

by kingofthelosers



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: F/M, Jason Is a Smartass, M/M, Marvin tops, Mendel is an awkward stepdad, No One Dies/Everybody Lives, Whizzer likes his hair pulled
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 07:06:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19807201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingofthelosers/pseuds/kingofthelosers
Summary: whizzer/marvin through the eyes of everyone around them (including themselves.)





	1. i don't need the life of a normal child

It was a mild inconvenience, Jason thought. Living in two different houses per week, each house happening to be inhabited by extremely affectionate couples.

By now, he was far used to his mother and Mendel's antics. The furthest they went whilst in the presence of Jason was hand holding, chaste kisses and- if they were feeling particularly saucy- Mendel would wrap his arms around his mother's waist.

It had taken him awhile, but Jason trusted Mendel's intentions regarding his mother. Mendel was relatively harmless, the right person for his mother and a breath of fresh air in their life. He helped Jason with his homework, he was always up for a hug and the only man in his life to help with girl troubles. 

His father and Whizzer on the other hand, were an entirely different story.

Unlike Mendel, Jason had trusted Whizzer from the beginning. He was suave, he wasn't too emotional, he gave good advice and was someone to go to whilst his mother and father argued. 

For awhile, this wavered a little. Each weekend he’d stay over at his father’s house, and observe the behaviours of his two extra, honorary fathers. Occasionally, they’d attend baseball games. This was mainly for Whizzer’s enjoyment, Jason’s curiosity and his father’s sheer homosexual tendencies. These outings were alright, due to neither one of them having any interest in public displays of affection- but as soon as they got home…

Jason would shuffle slowly away from the two on the sofa, hoping not to catch the great Homo Disease- knowing all too well that his father and Whizzer were not just holding hands under the blanket they shared. He thought more about his father’s homosexuality… was it hereditary? Was he doomed? He enjoyed looking at girls, so that couldn't be right…

Their kissing noises would drown out the film they were watching and Jason would put his fingers in his ears- but he wouldn't mind, really. His father seemed happy, despite Whizzer’s initial reluctance, he also seemed happy, and…

As Jason watched them, his father’s hand in Whizzer’s hair as the so mentioned brunette let out a sigh and closed his eyes.

Jason was kind of happy, too.

~~~~

“I’ll see you Sunday, kid! And, do you think I should wear that sweater later, does it make me look a bit…” Mendel gestured vaguely. 

“I just wanna look nice for your mother, y’know- her clothes are so…” his face turned dreamy and Jason stared at him incredulously. 

“Leaving now.” He clarified, getting out of the car as Mendel ruffled his hair. Jason turned back, giving Mendel the smallest flicker of a smile and a quick thumbs up as he entered his father and Whizzer’s house, fumbling with his key in the lock.

Once he entered, he immediately wished he hadn't. What he saw was Whizzer, pinned against a wall by his father. Whizzer’s mouth hung open as his father yanked at his hair and sucked hickeys into his neck, grinning.

Jason slowly reversed out of the door, eyes wide. He turned around and called, “Mendel!” down the street, despite the fact that Mendel had already sped away.

He cautiously entered the house, quietly shutting the door behind him and saying, “Whizzer, your hair looks terrible!” 

The reaction from the two was both surprised and immediate.

“Oh, god, Jason I'm so sorry- we’ll just, um-”

“Marvin, you up messed my fucki- my freaking hair! Thank you for telling me, Jason.”

Jason grinned, ascending the stairs to his bedroom and shaking his head. By now, he was far used their antics, and he certainly knew that homosexuality was not a hereditary disease. Once he reached the top, he turned and pointed at his father and Whizzer. “Be safe, kids. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.”

“Wouldn't dream of it!” Whizzer quipped, smirking. 

He didn't stay long enough to see his father’s fond smile, or his whisper of, “God, he’s turning into you.”

All his parents were very affectionate, but that was alright. At least he knew what to expect when entering the bathroom in the morning, and not to burst into his father’s bedroom at night or to the living room in the evening when Mendel and his mother had had some wine.


	2. whizzer is... not so bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> she doesn't talk to whizzer, whizzer doesn't talk to her. jason brings them together.

Attending Jason’s school events tended to be a flurry of emotions. For starters, Trina enjoyed showing her love to her son. She was proud of how far he had come, and the incredible young man he was shaping into.

The only issue with this, was that three other people felt this way too.

Marvin, she expected. He was Jason’s father, no matter how much he and Whizzer seemed like uncles instead of parents.

Mendel, she embraced. Despite him not being Jason’s biological parent, he had immediately made progress with the boy and dealt out advice like a particularly analytical drug dealer. The fact that he was her husband helped, too.

Whizzer, she… questioned. It took her awhile but she did understand Jason’s reasoning for admiring the man, he was the cool uncle that everyone wanted as a child- but what she didn’t understand was what Whizzer got out of it.

He was a youthful, suave and witty man who appeared to love Marvin- no matter how much they bickered. Trina was none of these things. She wasn’t youthful, she wasn’t suave nor witty- and she certainly didn’t love Marvin.

This was probably the reason they never got on. The only mutual interest they had was having sex with Marvin- and that wasn’t an interest of Trina’s even when they were together. Every Sunday when she picked Jason up from her ex husband and his lover’s home- she’d say the bare minimum. Seven words exactly, in fact.

‘Thanks for having him, let’s go, honey.’ 

Marvin would smile and pat her shoulder, his arm draped around Whizzer’s waist, and Whizzer would nod, never speaking a word to her. Marvin would hug Jason, Jason would hug Whizzer, he’d get in the car and she’d drive him home. This was a routine, and Trina liked it. Routines were good. For example, the routine used to be that every morning, Marvin would get up to go to work, Trina would get up to make Jason breakfast, he’d leave and not come back until… well. He’d come back smelling of a different cologne to the one he left the house wearing.

Now, there was only one or two changes, and Trina could adjust to that. Mendel would get up to go to work, Trina would get up to make Jason breakfast, Mendel would kiss Trina on the cheek- then on the neck for good measure- he’d leave and come back at 6 o’clock exactly for dinner. 

So, it was quite a break from routine when she found herself in the car on the way home from one of Jason’s school plays with Whizzer talking her ear off, Jason fast asleep, and Marvin and Mendel watching in the back seat, Mendel chuckling every twenty seconds.

“Oh my god, did he ever do that-” Whizzer crossed his eyes, miming a face one would make mid orgasm.

“Yes- jesus, I nearly hit him in the face!” Trina cried, giggling wildly.

Marvin looked outraged, though the smirk on his face suggested otherwise. He sat forward in his seat, joining his hand with Whizzer’s, the latter mentioned winking at him and whispering, “I like it, shut up.” 

Marvin raised his eyebrows. “I didn't say anything.”

“Yeah, but you were thinking it.”

“Wait- Whizzer- did Marvin ever drool on you when kissing?” Trina asked, changing the subject.

Whizzer laughed, though he was immediately shushed by Marvin due to the sleeping boy next to him. “Yes, oh my god. He kisses down my neck and it's like, wet.” 

Marvin hit his boyfriend lightly on the head. 

“Hey! This hair took hours!”

“I know, I was there.”

“Yeah, because you messed it up the first time.”

This banter continued until they reached Marvin and Whizzer’s house, Trina and Whizzer continuing to share anecdotes.

The four of them stood in their driveway, Mendel leaning against the car and watching Jason. He gestured for Trina to go on ahead.

To her surprise, Marvin wrapped an arm around her shoulder and smiled. “Sorry for being a prick for like, a year. You deserve Mendel, even if he is a bit of a loser. No offence, Mendel!” Trina smiled at her ex husband, and Mendel called, “None taken!”

Things developed even further, when Whizzer wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. Trina gasped in surprise. So did Mendel and Marvin- and probably Jason would've if he was awake.

Whizzer pulled back, looking down into her eyes. “Sorry about the whole ‘stealing your husband’ thing.” He smirked. 

She shook her head. “Nah, it's alright. He's gayer than a box of frogs, anyway.” 

They shared a look and a glance at Marvin, who was becoming increasingly aware about his tendency to be butt of the joke recently. 

“Also- love the cardigan.” he whispered. Trina laughed and waved them goodbye, getting back in the car with Mendel.

They sat in silence for awhile, before Mendel asked, “What the hell was that?”

Trina giggles, slightly dazed. “I don't know. I think I have a gay best friend, now!”

Mendel linked their hands, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek- and once on the neck for good measure.

A sleepy whine emerged from the back seat. “Ew, guys. Mom’s driving!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! writing falsettos characters is so FUN


	3. i got it all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mendel doesn't see marvin and whizzer- until he has to.

Mendel never saw Whizzer and Marvin more than he had to. Now he wasn’t being paid to see Marvin on a weekly basis, it was much easier to avoid him. Whizzer, too- although he’d never been paid to see Whizzer and Mendel was exceptionally grateful for this.

So when Trina took it upon herself to invite her ex husband and his lover round for dinner, Mendel was a little surprised. She rushed around the kitchen, preparing the meal in a frenzy as her husband attempted to calm her down.

“Trina! Calm down, honey- I can help-”

Trina hurried about, shaking her head violently. “No, no, they’ll be here soon and this is taking me so long and-” Mendel broke Trina off by kissing her softly, cupping her cheek. She breathed in deeply, rubbing at her eyes.

“Don’t rub your eyes, you’re perfect. It’s okay, sweetheart. Just take your time, no one’s screaming at you, no one will be disappointed if dinner takes a bit longer. I think Marvin and Whizzer will be pleased to eat something edible for once- Jason tells me Whizzer’s cooking is… different.”

As if on cue, Jason called from the living room, “Mom, Mendel! Dad and Whizzer are here!” 

Mendel planted a kiss on Trina’s cheek and ambled over to the front door, which Jason had already opened. Whizzer was ruffling Jason’s hair, Marvin was watching his boyfriend fondly and Mendel watched on awkwardly. He seemed to be doing that a lot these days. Mendel stuck his hands in his pockets, careful not to make eye contact with either of the two.

“Uh, come in?” He piped up, watching as Jason hurried inside, Marvin took Whizzer’s hand and Whizzer nagged at Marvin to, 'wipe your feet, you goddamn swine'.

~~~

Mendel, Marvin and Whizzer were sat around a table, mourning the loss of Jason who left to help Trina in the kitchen.

The couple bickered back and forth, which then turned into flirting, which then turned into full blown making out.

Mendel cleared his throat, annoyed with the knowledge that he was practically invisible to the pair.

They turned, Marvin’s fingers still tangled in Whizzer’s hair. The taller brunette smirked, whilst Marvin just looked embarrassed.

“Sorry, sorry. I told you not to do anything sexual, Whiz, but-”

“Who's hand is in who’s hair?” Whizzer asked incredulously.

Mendel put his head in his hands. “Guys, could you do me a favour?” He asked, exasperated.

Whizzer leaned forward, placing his chin in his hand. Marvin nodded.

“Could you be nice to Trina? She's nervous about this- it's been awhile since she cooked for so many people. And Whizzer- talk to Trina. She needs a friend.”

Perplexed, the taller brunette nodded. “Sure, whatever.”

~~~

Two hours later, the four adults sat, thoroughly intoxicated as their teenage son watched on in mild horror.

“So- that's when I Mendel asked me if I'd ever consider having a threesome- and you know, he doesn't even know any other women besides the lesbians!” Trina squealed, swirling her finger along the rim of her wine glass.

Mendel spluttered. “That was one time, Trina! And you know… you know I only love you. Love your thighs. And your face. And-”

“Yeah, we get it.” muttered Marvin, rearing his head from kissing Whizzer’s collarbone.

Whizzer rolled his eyes. “Ugh, straight people. You're so… sappy.” 

Mendel felt sorry for Jason. The poor kid was too young to drink- and even then he’d probably disapprove of it anyway- judging by the state of his parents.

“Well, I think we should just all be friends, y’know?” He asked, slumping even further into his seat. “We’ve all been pricks- besides Trina, you're an angel- and… and we’re all basically family, anyway.”

Trina smiled at Mendel, running her hand through his unruly curls. Jason looked outraged at the fact he had been categorised as a prick. Whizzer looked disgusted- though he hid a smile. Marvin was grinning from ear to ear- perhaps now he would get the tight knit family he’d desired for so long… Or maybe it was just the alcohol. 

~~~

Mendel had called Marvin and Whizzer a cab- having sent Jason up to bed and Trina to relax- and now stood at the front door as said cab pulled up.

Whizzer nodded at Mendel, a small smile ghosting his face. “You're not so bad when you're drunk.” He quipped, before turning around and getting into the cab.

Marvin was about to do the same, but to Mendel’s surprise, he held out his hand. 

“It might just be because I'm drunk- but I think you're way, way better for Trina than I ever was- I mean, I'm gay. But you're pretty decent.” he smirked.

Mendel blinked owlishly in surprise and shook Marvin's hand. "Uh... thanks, man. You two are always welcome for dinner- you made Trina really happy, and Jason really happy, and…” he paused, watching the taller man’s eyes. “Me, happy, too.”

They smiled at each other, before Whizzer yelled, “Get in the car, Marv! The quicker we get home, the quicker we can screw!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are always welcome!!!! thanks for Readin


	4. attention is paid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah I know you don't get florists in malls

On weekdays, Marvin had to get up early due to work- and Whizzer would stay in bed or occasionally see him off to work, half asleep, hair half done and with a half kiss to the mouth.

On weekends, Whizzer was quite the opposite. He enjoyed getting up early, getting dressed and ready so Marvin would see him at his best, doing his hair and making the breakfast (or at least attempting so).

This was exactly the reason Whizzer stood in front of their wardrobe, scrunching his face up in disgust at some of the items he found. Marvin lay fast asleep in the bed behind him- but this was too important a matter to worry about things like that.

Marvin owned a lime green checkered shirt. 

That was unacceptable. Into the pile it went. 

Unfortunately, Whizzer had thrown said shirt behind him so violently that it hit Marvin directly in the face. He grunted and jerked awake.

“Hmm- what the fu-”

“Marvin, babe. We’ve gotta get you some new clothes.” Whizzer chirped.

The man in question grunted again and rubbed his eyes, casting the shirt to one side. “You're talking far too loud for,” he squinted at the alarm clock beside him, “Nine in the morning.”

Whizzer scoffed, throwing yet another shirt into the corner. “I’ve been up for two hours.”

The shorter brunette sat up, stretching and yawning. “Jesus… what do people even do at that time?”

He turned round, admiring the view of shirtless morning Marvin stretching. “Maybe you should try it and find out.” He smirked. “Come on, get ready. We're going clothes shopping.” Whizzer decided, crossing the room to lean down and kiss Marvin softly. Marvin leaned in for more, but Whizzer pulled back.

“That's it. No more until you're ready.”

~~~

Walking through a shopping mall with Marvin was a strange experience. He complained so much- treating clothes shopping like it was the worst thing in the world. 

Whizzer dragged Marvin into a clothes store, grabbing items off of racks and thrusting them into the shorter man’s arms.

“Here- black jeans. You’d look sexy as hell in those.” 

Marvin rolled his eyes fondly. “Are you saying I don't look sexy all the time?” 

The taller brunette smirked. “You do- just not when you're wearing those hideous clothes.”

“Thanks. Remind me again who's paying?”

Whizzer just chuckled.

~~~~

With their hands full of bags and Marvin’s wallet considerably less heavy, they trotted around the shopping mall, going nowhere in particular.

“So, Mendel invited us round next week. I don't even know if Jason or Trina will be there.”

“I mean, he probably wants some friends to talk to and- oh my god-” Whizzer cut off, staring into a shop window, mouth agape. 

Confused, Marvin looked. The shop was a florist, and in the window sat a huge bouquet of gorgeous, deep red roses. 

Marvin stared at Whizzer fondly. “Come on, then.” He sighed, beckoning Whizzer toward the shop.

“No- no, they’ll cost too much, and they don't go with the decor of our living room.” He protested.

“Shut up. You asked for roses, and you're getting roses. Come on.”

“Wow, if I knew that asking for something would get me it so easily I would’ve done it years ago.”

~~~~

Whizzer Brown never considered himself a romantic man. In his past relationships- the general concept was fuck and go, no feelings, no emotions, nothing longer than one night.

It was rare he felt real love for someone. The joy, the pain, the fun… 

Sure, there was a pile of disregarded, hideous clothes that forever sat in the corner of their bedroom, and he’d never be good at playing chess, and they’d been walked in on far too many times, but…

Whizzer sat on the sofa, his head on Marvin’s lap. The latter mentioned ran his fingers through the former’s hair, and he looked over at the windowsill. 

He smiled at the roses that sat in a vase of far too much water- he wanted to make sure they’d last. Of course, it was likely they’d die a few days later- but the sentiment still stood. 

Whizzer Brown was in love, and he didn't want it any other way.


	5. play the game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> life with whizzer brown is a game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter contains Smut sorry

“So, I'm just making sure you're still on for tomorrow, y’know, Trina’s birthday and everything-” Marvin could hear Mendel gesticulating wildly on the other end of the phone, his nervous energy practically audible. 

Unfortunately though, Marvin couldn't really focus on Mendel’s question because a certain Whizzer Brown was kissing his way up Marvin’s neck. 

“Yeah, yeah, of course-” he started, though he cut himself off with a sigh, swatting Whizzer away. Whizzer just smirked, tracing his finger around on Marvin’s chest.

Mendel squeaked. “You okay, Marvin? Have you uh- got Trina her present?”

“Uh huh, all ready, ah…” Marvin gasped, subconsciously leaning into Whizzer’s touch and- fuck, he was still smirking, the little shit.

“You- you, uh… okay?” the psychiatrist asked, before he clocked. “Oh. Oh! Oh, oh I'll leave you to it! You crazy kids, you. You two just don't stop! How do you have the energy? Y’know, Trina and I, we.. I should- I should stop talking now.”

“You should stop talking now, I'm a bit, um-” Whizzer cocked an eyebrow. “Preoccupied.” Marvin managed to get out, clearing his throat. 

“God, uh, ew. Okay, hanging up now. Laters.”

Marvin cringed. “Bye.”

The minute Mendel hung up, Marvin grabbed Whizzer by the collar and yanked him into a bruising kiss.

“Tease.” he whispered.

Marvin could almost taste Whizzer’s snark. “Aw, you caught me.” 

The shorter man snarled, pulling Whizzer up and shoving him against the nearest wall. The man in question pouted, feigning disapproval.

“Christ, at least buy me roses first. Marvin, really… do you have any manners?” 

“Shut up.” He growled, practically ripping Whizzer's shirt open. Marvin tangled a hand in the other’s hair, and Whizzer whined. 

He wasn't quite sure how, but somehow they’d made it to the bedroom, tearing off items of clothing as they stumbled through the hallway.

“Come on, Marv. Stop taking off your socks and get on top of me.”

“What, you think I'm just gonna lie there in socks and nothing else?”

With faux reluctance, Marvin climbed on top of Whizzer, careful not to wince as his knees ached. God, he was getting old.

They kissed, and kissed, and lost their breath, and kissed. Marvin looked at Whizzer. Whizzer looked at Marvin. The game was just beginning.

“Your move.” The taller gestured.

Marvin removed Whizzer’s belt, unbuckled his trousers and with great difficulty, took off his ultra tight skinny jeans. He pulled down Whizzer’s underwear and ghosted a hand over his cock for a fleeting moment, before looking up expectantly.

“Now you.”

Whizzer rolled his eyes fondly, switching positions with Marvin and completing the same ritual, except he instead wrapped his hand around the base of Marvin’s cock and lowered his head, licking a stripe from the base to the tip.

Marvin leaned back against the headboard, watching Whizzer with hooded eyes. 

The taller of the two smirked- yet again, Marvin might add- and lowered his head again, this time fully wrapping his lips around Marvin’s cock and bobbing his head up and down.

Marvin groaned, pulling at Whizzer's hair and repeating the phrase, “You’re so pretty, so, so pretty…” 

Whizzer looked frankly obscene, stark naked, his lips wet, his hair a mess, a smile on his face, Marvin just had to pull him off.

“Sorry baby, I won't last with you looking like that.”

“Yeah, and because of your increasing age.”

“That too.” Marvin whispered, pushing a lock of hair behind Whizzer’s ear.

“Aw, how romantic. Now come over here and fuck me.”

~~~~

“Oh, so that's why you three looked so awkward when you gave me my presents. I thought you’d just left the price tag on but no! Marvin and Whizzer were just screwi-”

“Wrestling!” Mendel cut Trina off, waving his arms around and censoring her for the sake of Jason who sat opposite.

“Uh, guys, I'm not twelve.”

“You're not?” Mendel squeaked.

Marvin rolled his eyes, pulling Whizzer closer on his lap. “And they say we’re the immature ones.”

They shared a smile, watching the other three for a moment, before Whizzer kissed Marvin fondly. "I love you, you moron."

Marvin immediately softened. "I love you too."

"If you loved me you wouldn't be wearing that god awful tie."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

Marvin only glared.


	6. a group that harmonises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dressing gowns, mini kosher burgers, speeches and a lot of lap sitting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tiny tiny bit of smut

Okay, so they were a pretty strange family.

Charlotte and Cordelia sat together, watching the other five tight knit enigmas as they talked and interacted and bickered and laughed.

Trina seemed to be enjoying herself, at last. She’d spent the last few years worrying- making no time for herself and making plenty of time for panic. Now, she'd come to terms with Marvin’s romantic arrangements and her own marital status, believing entirely in her husband- even if he was a shitty psychiatrist, it paid the bills.

Jason, witty, excitable, and a complete and utter smartass. He was smarter than all of them put together and wouldn't let them forget it- and although his baseball skills seemed to be improving, his ability to read Latin certainly wasn't. 

Mendel- well. What he lacked in advice he made up for in loyalty, compassion and pure friendliness. Although Marvin hated to admit it, he had become an excellent father figure to Jason- the only one Jason really felt comfortable asking for advice, despite its awful quality.

Whizzer, disregarding his cool exterior, better dress sense and general intimidating demeanour, seemed… comfortable. Yes, he was happy- with both himself and Marvin- but he had finally settled in. He even managed to put up with and perhaps enjoy Mendel’s company, which deserved credit. 

Marvin… Marvin was happier than he’d ever been. He was verging on giddy these days, showing far more emotion than was necessary- a somewhat welcome change from his self deprecating deadpan. Whizzer brought out the best in him, and Marvin brought out the best in Whizzer. 

~~~

Marvin and Whizzer adored Charlotte and Cordelia- they really did- but they didn't adore this.

They were always at their house. Always. And they weren't even their neighbours! They appreciated the effort, really, but this was getting a little much.

See, Marvin had the day off. This didn't happen often, and the pair intended to spend it fulfilling the other lesser passion they were best at. Go figure. 

This was exactly the reason why Marvin wasn't particularly impressed when the doorbell rang just after he’d finished ravishing his boyfriend.

Whizzer carded a hand through Marvin’s long since ruffled curls, thumbing his bottom lip. 

“You go, gorgeous. I'm a disaster.” 

Marvin pouted. “Fine. But if it's a delivery for you or something I'll hit you.”

“Ooh, where?” Whizzer teased. “Didn't know you were into that.” 

Marvin ambled down the stairs, tying his grey dressing gown shut and opening the door. 

“Darling! I brought mini burgers!” Cordelia cried, wielding a box of her latest creation. Marvin opened his mouth, but Cordelia added, “Yeah, they're Kosher.” 

Charlotte closed the door behind her, fixing Marvin’s curls. “Where’s Whizzer? Wait- don't answer that. I can tell by the…” she gestured vaguely. “Sex hair.”

Meanwhile, Whizzer was considering storming downstairs fully naked and shoving the girls outside. Despite all of them now living in different houses, they were still practically in each other's pockets. Jason was over every weekend, dinner at the Weisenbachfeld’s was becoming routine, their fridge was full of Cordelia’s… delicacies- and Marvin and Whizzer just wanted to screw.

They had become- and Whizzer scrunched up his face at the use of Marvin's favourite phrase- a… tight knit family.

Once Marvin had successfully herded the lesbians out of the house, it was a race against time, space, and the speed at which Marvin got tired from running up the stairs.

“I'm too old for this shit, babydoll. Can you come here?”

“I’ll do whatever you want if you call me that again.” Whizzer smirked, sauntering over to rub the back of Marvin's neck. 

Marvin returned the smirk, grabbing Whizzer by the backs of his thighs. “Huh. Tempting, babydoll.”

For once, Whizzer was the giddy one.

~~~~~

It wasn't unusual for Whizzer to get tipsy. In fact, it was even less unusual for Whizzer to get drunk.

What was unusual though, was for Whizzer to stand up in the middle of dinner and propose a toast- suitably tipsy.

“I’d like to toast! To all of you- even if you're annoying bastards.” He didn't even make an effort to watch his language around Jason anymore.

The others started to raise their glasses, still surprised- but Whizzer carried on.

“Trina- thanks for the food. And the hugs- and the drunk conversations and-”

Trina could have cried. “Thanks, honey. It's not Thanksgiving, though.”

Whizzer waved a hand. “I'm being nice, savour it. Charlotte, thank you for having like, the only brain cells. Cordelia, you're prettier than me and I don't like it.”

“No she's not.” Marvin muttered.

Charlotte shot him a look. “You’re gay.”

“So's Whizzer!”

“Kids!” Whizzer called, clapping. He cleared his throat. “Jason, thanks for putting up with us. Be nicer to your dad, though.”

Jason's large eyes grew confused. “Which one?”

Mendel ruffled Jason’s hair, winking. “He means me.”

“I mean Marvin!”

Mendel lowered down in his seat. Whizzer beckoned for him to sit up, narrowing his eyes.

“Mendel, thanks for not divorcing Trina. Thank you for losing at Mario Kart when you're probably better than me. Also thanks for letting me throw out some of your sweaters, they're fucking horrific.”

“Yeah, I'll give you that.” He joked, though his face had reddened.

“Alright, onto Marvin.”

Everyone groaned, knowing what was to come.

“The love of my life! The bastard in the red tie sitting in front of me!” He cried. “Thanks for the family, babe.”

Marvin had started crying long ago- maybe because of Whizzer’s displays of kindness, maybe because of Cordelia’s mini burgers she brought over, but this sparked it even more.

He pulled Whizzer into his lap, whispering nice things into his ear.

Charlotte would soon pull Cordelia into her lap, and Trina would yank Mendel into hers- he was smaller than her and couldn't be trusted with a woman on his lap.

Jason would pretend to stalk upstairs in a huff, but really he’d stolen Whizzer’s camera to take a snapshot of the moment. He scoffed at the thought it was because he found it ‘cute’. Of course he didn't. He just knew his parents would enjoy it, that's all.

Although, it was a shame he didn't photograph the moment when Mendel fell off Trina’s lap onto the hardwood floor.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed- this was so fun to write!


End file.
